It wasn't until sometime during my 26th year that something had changed. Slowly, I had let go of careless thoughts comparing myself to others, judgmental thoughts of others, and negative reflections I thought other people MIGHT have about me. It had been a multitude of experiences and emotions that had to happen for me to get to the point where I could 100% love myself. No, this isn't the "I love how I look" or "I love what I wear" type of love. This is the "I love how I'm feeling" perspective making me want to strive to be the best 'me' I can and help those around me find those feelings and love who they are too. The trick is, you have to really talk yourself into a positive mindset and once you're on that high, figure out what you need to keep it going. For me, I had to let go of negative self talk. I stopped caring what other people think. I realized some things I can't change. I had to move on from past events, experiences, and the what ifs that sometimes weighed on my mind. Simply do what I truly wanted to do. This didn't happen overnight. It seems like it took forever to know who I am and what I want in this life. Yes, I still have days where I want to throw myself a pity party and vent to my best friends in a group text but those days are few and far between and each time I seem to bounce back quicker and learn even more about myself than the time before. I had to (and sometimes still have to) change my thought process to 100% believe in myself. Living a more meaningful life and making the most of each moment, I have found a new love for myself, for this life, and for all of those surrounding me.
What I started doing to change my outlook on life:
Positive energy is contagious. Help others when you can, give compliments, lift up those around you. Somedays I get down thinking about all the people I wish I could help. I love watching the news but I hate hearing so many sad, negative stories happening around the world. Then I'm reminded (by my mom) to just do my part, help when I can, and know that I am making a difference. We never know what other people might be going through or the thoughts they may be battling in their mind. A simple acknowledgement is literally priceless. If you can, throw the guy at the bottom of the exit ramp a couple bucks, even if he wants to go buy a 40oz can of Natty Light -- DO IT!! I want him to spend it in whatever way is going to make him happy and love every minute of the $2 I could barely afford to give him. Oh yeah... and don't boast about it. What is the real reason you're helping anyway - a Facebook status or to make someone's day a little brighter?
Live in the moment and make the most of each moment. Sure, I am guilty of not living this one out 100%. I am on my phone taking pictures or posting my 16965898 photos on Instagram. Take the time to take in whats around you and who you are with. You will never get this moment back. Be grateful for every single second. Figure out the quirks in your friends and support them for being who they are and want they want in life.
Find what makes you tick and create more opportunities doing what you love. What is it that is stressful? How can you outweigh it with something that makes you feel alive?
Own who you are. Be confident. Do what YOU want. You'll be surprised by the people you attract when you are 100% yourself and exactly who God made you to be. If my best friends didn't own accidentally calling their ex 36 times or singing every word to a Drake song I don't even know the chorus to, they'd lose their flare --and their flare is what lights our friendship. I have to remind my students every day - worry about yourself! If all of us did what we wanted to do and looked at other people with appreciation and admiration when they do what's best for them, this world would be a lot more comfortable. Take selfies, wear a loud outfit, strike up a conversation with someone you don't know - BE YOU, OWN IT!
Be grateful. I started thanking God on the way to work every day for all of the things I am grateful for and praying for random people I would see along the drive. Sure, I have always prayed before I fall asleep at night, but it almost felt like it had become more of a habitual thing rather than a truly meaningful experience. Anymore, I find myself stopping and taking a moment to thank God for the little things. Whether it be the beauty of the sky after a sunset on the rooftop of my building, my parents getting home safely after visiting me, or maybe just a quick thanks for waking me up this morning. It's amazing how much more grateful I have become, noticing how much beauty is in the world, and just how lucky we are to be alive.
Just say yes. Figure it out later. This is easy to say, but once you start doing this, you won't regret it. Take vacations with your kids, be tired after a weeknight concert, go on a long weekend trip with your girls (or buddies for all my bros reading this). There are plenty of times I feel like I should say "I can't" because I honestly don't have the money or maybe I have to be somewhere early the next morning. The memories you'll make will be indispensable and usually the best are those unplanned!
Keep on keepin' on friends! There's no one else like you!
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